Friday, February 8, 2013

Say something nice

A gentle word turns away wrath.

When someone is angry at me (Major Moma) , my natural reaction is to get angry back. How dare they be mad at me for doing ___ (whatever I have been accused of)! I often feel this way even when I have done something wrong. But even more so when I think I have been ‘unjustly attacked’.
If I lash back in defense of my honor, does it help? Or does it simply escalate the situation? This year I am working on using more kind words. And this is especially hard when I feel attacked. But, what if my response could help calm the situation instead of escalating it?
provided by my husband
Our anger actually blurs our senses.  I cannot see truly what the issue is and how I contributed to the problem when I am angry.  Like the ice on this window, I can only see a skewed picture of what really is there.
A gentle word turns away wrath. If I can respond gently, then maybe we all can calm down and address the issue.  Then, in a calm moment, I may be able to see clearly.

provided by my husband
And what about my own wrath? What happens when ___ [insert name of child, husband or friend] does something and I respond in anger? What is my first, natural reaction?

You know the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
But what if, instead of responding with silence, I respond with a kind word?

I am not talking about an insincere, fake, sappy kind word. But really look to that person, figure out something that I can honestly be kind about, and say it. Then, that gentle word can turn away my own wrath.  Then, we can see clearly the issue, and address it.

provided by my husband and son
This is my challenge this month.  Well let's be honest, I will be working on this for a while.  When I don’t have something nice to say, I will find something nice and SAY IT.

There is enough anger in this world, it does not need mine. I am going to do my part to reduce anger and violence.

Note:  As part of my New Years resolution, I am trying to gain more control of the things I say.  And in order to increase my accountability, I am blogging about it.  I am not trying to be preachy ... just sharing.


  1. Hubby and I have been talking about this lately. Especially with the kids. The idea that you can always use a gentle, kind tone. The "mom" voice is unnecessary. And it does defuse situations pretty well

    1. I am glad to hear that others are talking about this too. It is quite a challenge at times, but important if we are going to teach our children self-control and to calm our own emotions.


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